The PM's Visit to Rakiraki: Ceremonies, Civics and Elections by Dr Chris Griffin

Former USP and Edith Cowan University social anthropologist Dr Chris Griffin explores the cultural intricacies of PM Bainimarama's visits last year to Rakiraki in Ra province, and in doing so sheds a useful light on ethnic Fijian ritual, ceremony and custom, race relations, the causes of coups, and Bainimarama's strategies to end them.

Re-emergence of Sacrilege is a Serious Concern

CCF Media Release

Re-emergence of sacrilege is a serious concern

The Citizens’ Constitutional Forum (CCF) is calling on people of Fiji to respect the values and practices of people from different religious groups.

“Fiji is a country where people from many different racial and religious groups have been living together for the past century. This has been possible because there has been respect, tolerance and non-interference with the cultural and religious values of others,” CCF Chief Executive Officer Rev Akuila Yabaki said.

“We deplore the actions of thieves who stole Hindu religious deity statues from a family residence in Valelevu. This is a violation of the human rights the Right to Freedom of Thought, Conscience and Religion, and also the Right to Own Property,” Rev Yabaki said.

Rev Yabaki is further calling on religious organizations, as well as parents and community leaders, to create understanding of human rights to children and community members.

“An increased knowledge of human rights can create better understanding and respect for the religious and cultural practices that are different from yours,” Rev Yabaki said. “Government should step-up the activities to create racial and religious tolerance if it is indeed committed to multiculturalism.”

CCF is concerned that the Police Crime Statistics do not register sacrilege as a category of crime anymore, even though it is classified as a separate serious offence under the Crimes Decree. “Failure to monitor sacrilege or categories of specific hate crimes allows them to go unnoticed,” Rev Yabaki said.

For further information, contact CCF on ph: 3308379, fax: 3308380 or email: ccf@kidanet.net.fj .

PM in Namosi, Media/Blog Botch Doctor Figures, Police & Prisons, Whose Propaganda, Religio Warned

N0023. RIDE 'EM COWBOY. This item as much for the Fiji Sun photo (I couldn't resist it) as for the story. The PM visited remote Wainiyavu Village in the remote interior of Namosi province earlier in the week. The Turaga ni Koro Petero Matavutuka said: “I’ve lived my whole life in the village. This is the first a Prime Minister ever visited us. There is no road that leads to the village but still he came. We waited for him to come and experience first-hand what we face every day in order to get to the town or city to sell our produce.”

The PM said government knows the Tikina o Veinuqa has transport and service difficulties.  What is needed is a a bridge at Namado and Wainiyavu so people can easily transport their vegetables or root crops to the urban centres. Funds have been allocated for the bridge which will cost $1.2m. The PM gave 20 horses to the villagers which cost $6000. In 2010, Government had provided over $400,000 for developments in Namosi province, which included farm and non-PWD roading, forestry, a building grant and eleven self-help projects. The applications of some 939 social welfare recipients had also been approved.

N0024. FIJI TODAY/FIJI SUN BOTH TOTALLY BOTCH DOCTORS FIGURES.   You can't altogether blame the moderate anti-government blog Fiji Today for getting its facts wrong when  it reported "Recent statistics released by the Ministry of Health shows that out of the 850 trained doctors in the country 400 have left for greener pastures last year." They were merely quoting the Fiji Sun. But they said this equated to more than one doctor per day and really rubbed it in by adding "Good one, Frank. You are building a better Fiji." Click on both  hyperlinks above to check that I've got this right, and then read on...

The figures they cite are completely wrong, and the journalists responsible have no good excuse because they should immediately have queried obviously suspicious figures and because there were quick ways to do so. I looked at the figures and thought 850 trained doctors? Fiji only has 8,000 teachers and they can't possibly outnumber doctors by only 10:1.

So I checked the Bureau of Statistics website that showed there were only 416 doctors in 2009, and as a further check I consulted the Ministry of Health's  website. Their Strategic Plan for 2011 states that it aims to maintain the number of doctors at 54 per 100,000 population. This would give 480 (not 850) doctors in an estimated 2010 population of 888,000.  So the Fiji Sun and Fiji Today are way off the mark.

And then, incredibly, they made a second error by saying the loss of 400 doctors occurred in one year, when the figure is for the past 10 to 15 years, that gives a loss of between 40 to 27 doctors a year. Still a large number but locally graduating doctors and overseas recruitment should make up much of the loss.

I hope the Fiji Sun and Fiji Today editors blush with shame, with the latter offering Frank an apology.

N0025. POLICE & PRISONS JOIN FORCES. A MOU signed last year between these two services is expected to result in greater efficiency, less recidivism and lower costs. Information and intelligence will be shared through regular liaison and there will be joint training programmes, operational activities, and media releases whenever necessary. Further, they will share human and technical resources for investigatory and training purposes, and the supervision and monitoring of rehabilitation of former prison inmates.-- Based on 2011, No:0055 /MOI.

N0026. WHY PRINT GOVERNMENT PROPAGANDA? "Anare" asks why I publish government releases with no comment, saying it makes the blog look like "a mirror of government propaganda."  I rely on numerous news sources, including government, and the source is always acknowledged. The original release is usually abbreviated and sometimes commented upon. News releases from government sources are more conspicuous because I cannot provide a hyperlink. I added the source (usually -- Based on ...) at the end, where it stands out.  

But I do publish a lot of government news.  This is because much is not used by the local, and almost none by the overseas, media that seem more interested in the personal and sensational than in "boring" news on developments that cumulatively show progress towards Charter goals.

N0027. RELIGIO WARNED. Police in Nadi have warned a religious leader against preaching against other churches and to stop making racist remarks. Failure to heed the warning will result in the cancellation of the church's permit to hold gatherings.

Lottery Scandal, No One Indian People, Schools Name Change, Mai TV, Land Bank & Mining, Scholarships & Manpower Training, Roads, Apostolic Whoops!

N0010. LOTTERY FUNDS MISUSED. Several serious allegations have surfaced in the Commerce Commission Report in relation to the Fiji Rugby Union lottery case. The Commission says the FRU lottery bank account showed it had $104,000 The Commission findings, however, showed that as at 30th December the  balance in the FRU lottery bank account totalled only $104,000. With lottery sales  the  balance should have been  $350,000.

Some money could still be coming in from vendors but it appears that only half the tickets were sold. It also appears ticket money has been used for  airfares, accommodation, visa application and game tickets for the 2010 Hong Kong 7s for a senior FRU Lottery Director. Government  has asked the FRU Board and Executive to resign.

STOP PRESS. Bill Gavoka  has resigned as FRU chairman but remains on the Board. Rafaele Kasibulu, who will lead talks with Government to discuss its demands, is effectively the interim Chairman.

N0011.WHEN IS AN INDIAN NOT AN INDIAN.  My  article on this topic published on Saturday in Weekend Reading was republished by AUT's Pacific Media Centre.The photo, courtesy of PMC, is Indo-Fijian girls performing a Pacific dance item.  The article drew this (slightly edited) comment from a reader:

"This is interesting and a helpful discussion on a subject which has been fraught with far too much emotion in the past.

My advice has always been: strive for cultural understanding, but guard against cultural stereotyping. I believe the word "Indian" describes only one's nationality. In the Fiji context it has overtones which lead directly to ethnic stereotyping and profiling. Otherwise educated analysts tell us that the "Indians" want one or other political solution, or that they want to preserve their cultural identity. Who are these "Indians" who think in such a homogeneous way? The same mistake has been made about the  i'taukei. That they should be united and think as one.

"Really? The best situation for Fiji is that we accept that all individuals regardless of culture and ethnicity should be able to pursue their individual dreams. Not to be driven by the narrow walls of what they ought to believe. In fact in the current political situation in Fiji, there are persons of all ethnicities which oppose the government just as there are persons of all ethnicities which support it.

"There is no Indo-Fijian way of thinking,  just as there is no "European-Fijian" way of thinking. When the British tried to codify custom in the Fijian Administration, the most significant mistake they made (apart from creating new "customary" institutions such as the Fijian courts) was to assume that there was one homogeneous Fijian way of life. Nayacakalau wrote of this in the most gentle  way. There is no one Fijian people, just a number of individuals who share some cultural characteristics. And they all think differently from each other.There is no one Indian people in Fiji or elsewhere.

It is time to grow up and to stop defining people's thoughts, politics and aspirations in terms of their ethnic origin.I liked your article very much. Thanks, Nitesh."

N0012. SCHOOLS CHANGING RACE-BASED NAMES. All schools with race-based names are now being changed.

N0013. MAI TV has launched a free 24 hours web channel aimed primarily at overseas Fijians. Besides the news broadcast at 7pm you will be able to watch a range of popular programmes and more will be launched over the coming weeks. All you have to do is register with an email address and password on the Mai TV’s home page www.maitv.com.fj  Note, however, that the company reserves the right to charge for services sometime in the future.

N0014. LAND BANK & BAUXITE MINING at Nawailevu in Bua is expected to start by March according to the Ministry of Lands and Mineral Resources on an area of Native land previously leased to Fiji Pine. Aurum Exploration Fiji paid Fiji Pine $1m so that the land could revert to landowners from the Mataqali Nalutu, Mataqali Noro and Mataqali Naicobo.

In turn, the mataqali offered the land to the Government Land Bank, and last week the PM designated the first parcel of  land for bauxite mining.  Aurum will have a 99-year lease on the land and a surface mining licence is expected to be issued in March. The Land Bank is a government initiative aimed at giving leasees more secure tenure, landowners an assured income, and bringing more land into productive use.-- Based on 2011, No:0025 /MOI.

The PM said “The significance of the activation of the Land Bank is that many of our idle lands could now be leased through the Land Use Decree 2010 and be made productive for the betterment of landowners, investors and the country as a whole. Landowners who willingly choose to have their lands leased through the Land Use Decree will now be in a position to reap fair and just returns. They will also receive the full quantum of the premium and land rent. I know that this is one of the key issues that landowners have been calling for in the past decades." Government will also ensure the investors security of tenure. -- Based on 2011, No:0023 /MOI.

N0015. MINING PREDICTED AS TOP EXPORTER EARNER. In an ABC broadcast chairman of Fiji's Mining and Quarrying Council, Harvey Probert,  predicts mining will be Fiji's main export earner within five years.

N0016. SCHOLARSHIPS & MANPOWER TRAINING. Some $14million has been allocated for Government Scholarships and Training, under the Public Service Commission and Multi-Ethnic Affairs Scholarship Programme for 2011.  The money will assist about one thousand continuing students in Fiji and overseas, and about the same number of new students.  The fund will be administered by the PSC which also coordinates training programmes funded by bilateral partners.

PSC PermSec Parmesh Chand said there will be a completely new set of criteria in place next year as required by virtue of principles enshrined in the People’s Charter for Change, Peace & Progress and the Roadmap for Sustainable Economic Development & Democracy. Government's focus is on capacity building, and the PSC will ensure a prudent use of resources to enhance the knowledge, skills and expertise of the civil service, as well as the private sector.  -- Based on 2011, No:0010 /PSC.

Mr Chand emphasised that a professional, committed and ethical workforce can only be achieved through on-going capacity building, and for this reason, a supportive training culture is encouraged, so that the training needs of the nation can be effectively addressed.

N0017. ROAD WORKS. Potholes may be a thing of the past on major roads if government manages to complete current and intended road works by 2014. The Ministry of Works  is concentrating on tourist areas, along with the main roads and farm roads. The Nadi Back Road is half complete and work will soon commence in Ba, Sigatoka and Rakiraki.

N0018. WOOPS! FIJI SUN IN ORBIT. The heading read "Apostolic congress hailed by Catholics." But  it wasn't.  The article was about the Catholic Apostolic Church that originated in England in the 1830s.  The (Roman) Catholic Church is just a little older. You can't always believe what you read in the press.

The Lies of March, UN Move to China, USP Cuts Income, New Churches, Jailed For Heeding Lawyer, A Compliment, RBF Reddy Resigns

WEEKEND READING  ♦Allen Lockington column ♦ Gerald McGhie on The Vexed Question of External Aid  ♦ Graham Reid's second article on his Fiji visit  ♦ Teaching Men and Boys by Sharon Bhagwan Rolls  ♦ The 2011 Budget: Claims and Counterclaims.

CANCELLATION OF MARCH. The annual Coalition of Human Rights march planned for tomorrow in Suva has been cancelled because of a warning to American citizens from the US Embassy that the march could be used by anti-government elements and become unruly. The planned march was of women, children and families to show their support for human rights.

The Ministry of Information blamed the American Embassy of causing confusion by issuing an alert based on an "anonymous blog which suggesting the march was not going to be a peaceful one."

The MOI does not normally "react to this type of information because it has proven time and again to be inaccurate and detrimental to the country. However, on this occasion for reasons unknown,  the American Embassy has chosen to take heed of gossip and rumour rather than seeking to confirm the facts with the Fiji Government." -- Based on 2010, No:2131/MOI.

 "... AN INDOFIJIAN PLUS MARK MANNING." These two people evidently merited special mention by Usaia Waqatairewa of the Australia-based Fiji Democracy and Freedom Movement.

He was answering a CoupFourPointFive question on who turned up to last Sunday's FDFM anti-Fiji Governmment march in Sydney where 200 had been anticipated. Waqatairewa said, “About sixty people attended …  mainly indigenous Fijians, part-Europeans and an IndoFijian, plus Mark Manning.”

But a blogger thought the number was closer to 30, or 15 if children were excluded. (see Mark Manning's photo to form your own opinion.) There are an estimated 100,000 people in Australia who were born in Fiji so whether it was 200, 60 or 30 is really immaterial. The march was not well supported.

CoupFourPointFive went on to ask him about the supposed planned march in Suva today. Waqatairewa thought it could attract 10-20,000. He said he didn't know who was organizing it but urged the SDL and Methodist Church to get involved. It now seems likely the anonymous organisers intended to piggyback on the Coalition of Human Rights march.

Waqatairewa said he wasn't concerned about PER. "The regime do not have the resources to arrest and detail [sic!] 10 or 20 thousand people." He thought people could get hurt. “If the Military wants to beat the hell out of them than that is their prerogative,” he said, and then referred to the “thugs in government [and the] animalistic aggressive nature of the security forces and the people illegally in charge such as Khaiyum and Bainimarama.” 

And so it went on, like the ramblings of a deranged man. A big thank you to CoupFourPointFive, for exposing this FDFM lunacy, and for publishing this comment by one of your readers:

"FDFM, stop lying to the people of Fiji ... even those in Australia are not with you ... People like you at FDFM are strong SDL supporters ... It's easy to see how you are campaigning and trying to brainwash the people of Fiji by [getting them] joining in to an unknown march initiated by a Mr Nobody. Please come yourself and stand up with us here in Fiji if you are genuine." 

And the reader who  wrote  in reply to another comment: "Not all i'Taukei support ethno-nationalism as you seem to portray ... You obviously do not work with the grassroots i'Taukei and have no idea of their needs."

FDFM  claims it has serious support in Australia and Fiji. Its latest showings show its support is almost zilch — plus Mark Manning.

PM PROPOSES UN MOVE TO CHINA. The PM  says the US government through the US embassy in Fiji is not fulfilling it's international obligations by failing to give visas to high level Fiji Ministers and officials to attend major international meetings.Denying senior government officials visas is preventing Fiji's voice being heard in important international meetings.I agree for the reasons given yesterday. Tongue-in-cheek, the PM suggested the UN Headquarters be moved to China.

USP REDUCES DEMAND ON GOVERNMENT. The University of the South Pacific will further reduce the money it receives from government. Vice-Chancellor Prof. Rajesh Chandra said they voluntarily reduced government’s contribution this year and next year they will reduce the allocation by a further 2% — a saving of $5m for Government in the triennium period of three years.

USP is mainly funded by contributions from its eleven member countries, and Australia and New Zealand. The voluntary reduction is being made because the university's finances are once again in good shape; they think they can be more cost-efficient and still offer quality courses, and because the Fiji Government "is going  through difficult times and its very important for USP to be sensitive to those financial difficulties.”

GROWING CONCERN ABOUT NEW CHURCHES. Pacific Conference of Church General Secretary Fei’loa-ki-tau Tevi  is concerned about the growing number of new churches arriving in Fiji, claiming that  many of them disturb people’s way of life. He also intimated that the new churches were divisive and unconcerned with social and economic issues.

"The fundamental belief of Christianity is social justice in which we should care for the vulnerable and the excluded and the poor and not the rich people," he said. "Your belief as a Christian is more than just praises.

The way you understand yourself as a Christian is more than just every Sunday. I go to church. More churches are coming. Groups and movements and we are not in the business of saying this is ours and you don’t come in , no. What we are saying is to try to improve the lives of people but if you just come in for the sake of building churches and hence having more people and more members, there is no point because you are just doing more harm then doing good.”

Similar concerns were echoed by Methodist minister Rev.Navitalai Qerea speaking about villages on the island of Kadavu. He said the "huge number of religious groups in the Kadavu province has caused a lot of differences and weakened traditional relationships among the people." he called on church leaders to strengthen relationships with the Vanua while maintaining their spiritual beliefs.

JAILED FOR HEEDING LAWYER'S ADVICE. I don't know all the details but on the face of it the jailing of former CEO of FNPF, Olota Rokovunisei, for not turning up to court on 30 November on the advice of his lawyer, Kafoa Muaror, is a miscarriage of justice. The lawyer stated in court that he had “instructed his client  not to attend court on November 30 because he was of the understanding that the date was only to allow the defence to file an affidavit. He told Rokovunisei he would only be required in court on December 10.” (Fiji Times, 7 Dec.) The lawyer himself did not appear in court on 3 December when Rokovunisei was sentenced: he was attending the AG’s Conference.

Justice Sithambarampillai Thurairaja remanded Rokovunisei in jail till 1st February when the court will decide on his bail application. This means that he will spend the Festive Season in jail only because he listened to his lawyer's instruction.  If this is the case, the judge jailed the wrong man and Rokovunisei should be released on bail immediately.

A COMPLIMENT FROM A READER. I get some pretty terrible comments from some readers so it's a nice feeling to receive a compliment like this from a NZ reader: 

"Your own blog with its commonsense, knowledge and continuing ability to provide useful information on Fiji is a shining light.  The problem is (if one thinks it's a problem) you probably make people -- particularly the establishment -- feel uneasy."  Reminds me of a Churchill quote: “You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

DISQUIET ON REDDY RESIGNATION. Reserve Bank Governor Sada Reddy  has resigned.  Reddy, who has NZ permanent residence where his family lives, worked for the Bank for 35 years, the last 17 as Deputy Governor and Governor.  Deputy Governor Barry Whiteside will act as governor until further notice.

The circumstances of Reddy's resignation are unknown but anti-government blogs (which objected to his appointment in the first place, saying he lacked experience!) accused him of transferring his savings to NZ immediately prior to the devaluation of the Fiji dollar, avoiding a 20% loss. There was also talk that he was not happy about Government's heavy overseas borrowing. Unfortunately, there is no way of confirming or refuting either accusation in an environment where almost every accusation has a political purpose but Reddy, Government and the RBF Board have certainly given no hint of any friction.

In announcing Reddy's resignation, RBF sub-committee chairman Deo Saran said:  "The board sincerely thanks Mr Reddy for his long and distinguished service throughout his time with the Bank and wishes him and his family well for the future."

Fire at Fiji Museum by Roderick Ewins

The Fiji Times ran this very brief piece on Tuesday November 16.
"A 25th anniversary celebration almost wiped out our 200-year history at the Fiji Museum on Friday night. A fiery dance group of teenaged girls and boys were performing a fire-dance when kerosene they were using spilt on to the floor and burst into flames in front of guests as well as the Ra Marama replica that stood not more than 15 metres away. The dancers attempted putting the fire out with water but induced the "chemical fire". Intoxicated guests rushed in and helpedput the fire out."

Some of the blogs have been a little less guarded.

Happy Diwali Everyone

Diwali a time to come together: PM

Diwali is a time that Fiji comes together as a nation - despite the different religious backgrounds, says Prime Minister Commodore Voreqe Bainimarama. In his Diwali message . Bainimarama is urging everyone to purse the goals of equality, stability and peace. He says while Diwali celebrations were initially limited to the Hindu religion – other cultures have embraced this yearly event.
Bainimarama says this is testimony not only to the increasing tolerant nature of our communities – but more importantly to the fact that Diwali has a universal appeal which transcends all barriers.  Bainimarama adds the true spirit of Diwali pursues peace and prosperity and it comes to those who genuinely seek it. -- FBCL.

Blog Now Uses Religion to Divide Fiji and Attack the Bainimarama Government

I was hoping not to have to comment on CoupFourPointFive so soon after I picked them up for  published so many false rumours — The AG and PM arrested by Driti; Driti and Ratu Tevita sacked; Driti and Ratu Tevita reinstated after apologizing to the PM for plotting his overthrowal.  Their whole aim, of course, is to misinform, cast doubt, give their anti-government readers fresh heart, and distract and divide those who are not convinced Bainimarama is the Devil Incarnate.

Now, following last week's harmonious meeting of the PM with Fiji's Muslim leaders (and the bomb scare on an American plane) they apparently think the time is ripe to plant further doubts in the minds of Fijians, this time about its "home-grown" Muslims.  They have attempted to do this by resurrecting the Bali bombings, mentioning the vulnerablity of Nadi Airport to Islamic terrorist attacks, and noting that Fiji could be "a potential incubator for [local] religious zealots in the age of al-Qaeda related global terrorism."   The article, based on an old US White House paper brought to light by Victor Lal just before the 2006 Coup, weaves back and forth between assuring local Muslims they were not suspect to the "potential incubator" assertion, but the overall intent is clear. Fiji's Muslims should be watched by Fiji's non-Muslim citizens.

Comments (spelling unchanged) accepted by the blog published followed the same theme: "Bainee's government has been infiltrated extensively by them so far. Islam is a religio poltical idealogy based on stone age Arabic dessert culture... [They are peaceful] because they have been in the minority so far and have not been radicalised."

The article concluded with an editor's note (more of this later).  I quote: "Non-mainstream Ahmadiyya Muslims – who after the 2006 coup provided the bulk of support to the dictator – the Tablibanistic illegal Attorney-General and Minister for Justice Aiyaz Sayed Khaiyum, Brigadier-General Aziz Mohammed, the Shameem Sisters, Dr Sahu Khan other Ahmadiyyas who joined various Boards and Commissions and the membership of the Peoples Charter."

One of their readers wrote: "ahmadiyas see fiji as the gateway to the world. gaining control of it is a strategic necessity for world religious domination hence it is worth paying any price." While another wrote: "Very good, now what about a report on the ever growing extremist Hindu global threat." The article and the comments leave little doubt that with Sunni Muslims, Ahmadi and Hindus all suspect, their concerns are more to do with race than religion. Religion is just the divisive scapegoat of the moment.

Now, to correct the other errors made by the CoupFourPointFive editors. Aiyaz Sayed Khaiyum is not an Ahmadi. He is a Jamaati Sunni Muslim. Brigadier Aziz is not an Ahmadi. He is a Miladi Sunni. Shaista Shameen is not an Ahmadi. She is a declared agnostic. Nazhat Shameen and Sahu Khan are Ahmadi but Khan is currently facing disciplinary charges before the Independent Services Commission so he is hardly a member of the "coup-supporting brigade."  Of the five people they target, they are wrong on four of them. And as far as I know there are no Ahmadi on any Government Boards, Commissions or Committees.

It is also evident that the editors  have no knowledge at all about the Ahmadiyya movement which was founded by Mirza Ghulam Ahmed (1839-1908) of Qadian in the Punjab during a time when many reform movements emerged in Indian and Western societies. Witness Wesleyanism, the SDA, LDS, Jehovah Witnesses, etc.; Arya Samaj, the Ramakrisha Mission, and Baha'i. The list seems endless. Times of major social upheaval tend to bring forth new religious interpretations.

Ahmadi are not considered Muslims by other Muslims. They are considered heretics.  Ahmadi are remarkably tolerant to other religions (Jesus is a prophet, and the Hindu Ram Chandra  and the Sikh Guru Nanak "reformers" are considered "men of God").

Ahmed refined the meaning of jihad (a term much misunderstood in the West). The military or so called "Holy War" aspect was dropped and replaced by "the greater, inner jihad of personal self-improvement and struggle against one's base desires." (Walsh 2006: 253). Ahmadi believe that reform of religious thought is the key to a rational religious philosophy.

Further, they are considered a persecuted minority by the United Nations and have been subjected to violent attacks by extremist Muslim groups. The last such attack was in Lahore in February when Taliban shot Ahmadis in a mosque during Friday prayers, killing dozens. Thus to call Ahmadis "talibanistic" is both crass and ill-informed.

Once again the editors of CoupFourPointFive have shown that in their haste to attack Fiji's de facto government, they have failed to do their homework.  And Victor Lal's hint that fear of Muslim terrorists nudged Bainimarama towards the 2006 Coup is just too fantastic for words.